Playing the Score

How Where We Think We Stand Changes How We Perform

Have you ever noticed that you play differently when you're ahead?

In tennis, the score can change everything.

You're up 5–2 and suddenly you start thinking about closing out the match.

You were playing freely. Now you're protecting the lead.

The same shots that felt natural a few games ago suddenly feel risky.

Your opponent hasn't necessarily changed.

The court hasn't changed.

Your ability hasn't changed.

But your relationship to the moment has.

You started playing the score.

The Score Changes What We Notice

When we're ahead, we may become more aware of what we could lose.

A double fault feels bigger.

A missed opportunity feels more significant.

Instead of playing the point in front of us, part of our attention moves toward the finish line.

When we're behind, something different can happen.

We may feel that we have to make something happen.

We take bigger risks.

We rush.

We try to make up the deficit all at once.

In both situations, the score is influencing how we approach the next point.

And sometimes, the way we respond to the score creates more pressure than the score itself.

We Do This Outside of Tennis Too

The same thing happens in everyday life.

We get a promotion and suddenly feel pressure to prove we deserved it.

We have a difficult conversation that goes well and become afraid of saying the wrong thing next time.

A project falls behind and we begin treating every task as urgent.

We receive positive feedback and start worrying about whether we can continue to meet that expectation.

Our circumstances change, but so does the story we tell ourselves about what those circumstances mean.

Where we think we stand influences how we show up.

When the Stakes Change, Our Behavior Can Change

One of the challenges of pressure is that we can become more focused on the significance of the moment than on what the moment actually requires.

At 5–2, the point still requires the same things it required at 2–2:

Read the ball.

Move.

Choose the shot.

Commit.

Respond.

But our mind may be somewhere else.

Don't mess this up.

We're so close.

I can't give this game away.

I have to finish this.

The task hasn't necessarily become more complicated.

Our relationship to the task has changed.

And that can create a gap between what we are capable of doing and what we are able to access in that moment.

The Score Is Information. Not Instruction

This is an important distinction.

The score matters.

It tells us something about the situation.

But it doesn't have to tell us how to feel, how to behave, or what the next point needs to look like.

Being ahead doesn't mean we need to protect ourselves.

Being behind doesn't mean we need to force something.

And being at a critical moment doesn't mean we suddenly need to become someone different.

The score provides information.

It doesn't need to become the instruction.

What If We Stopped Playing the Score?

Imagine being able to know the score without letting it determine your behavior.

You're down 2–5.

You acknowledge it.

You don't pretend it doesn't matter.

But you don't make the entire match a problem you have to solve immediately.

You play the next point.

You're up 5–2.

You acknowledge that too.

But you don't start playing a different game simply because you're close to winning.

You continue to play the way that got you there.

This isn't about ignoring the stakes.

It's about keeping the stakes in perspective.

The Same Question Applies Off the Court

Where are you "playing the score" in your own life?

Are you performing differently because you've recently succeeded?

Are you becoming more cautious because you have something to lose?

Are you rushing because you feel behind?

Are you putting additional pressure on yourself because of expectations you've created around where you think you should be?

Sometimes the most useful question isn't:

"What does the score mean?"

It's:

"What does this moment actually require from me?"

Because the score will change.

The circumstances will change.

What is at stake will change.

But our ability to stay connected to what the moment actually requires can remain.

Don't ignore the score.

Just don't let it play the point for you.